Welcome to my new home.

This will be my new blog, which will track my wieghtloss journey starting March 1st 2009, and ending March 1st 2010.

To save some time, and explain a lot about myself, my goals and reasons, I shall post som of the main points of the 25 things about me thing I did on Facebook.

4. I always wanted to be a father. I could never decide if I wanted a son or a daughter, so I guess im lucky I managed to score the whole set :D

5.My children's names are Noah and Alana. Noah was named after the character in "The Notebook", which is Jo's favourite movie. Meanwhile, its a name I loved anyway, and is amongst my "1st pick" materials. Alana was going to be Ally, also from the Notebook, until I pointed it out that it was probably kinda sick to name siblings after the lovers in Jo's favourite movie. She was Abby for a while, but I managed to coax Jo over to Alana in the last minute because "it sounded exotic". And people call women manipulators?

12. I just started a course in Justice Administration. The idea is to complete the course this year, and use the time to lose wieght. Next year, I hope to use my diploma and my smokin' new body and fitness level to enter the QLD police academy.

15. Starting March 1st, 2009 I will be keeping a new blog. It will track what food I have eaten, how much exercise I have done and other random things. I've tried losing wieght in the past through dieting, exercising and whatnot, but I suffer from what many would call depression, and I constantly find excuses to pity myself while chewing on a bag of chips. Im at a shocking 110kgs now, and I figure the best way to force myself to stick to this (for the police academy next year) would be to publicly shame myself. Expect to see a fat man in his tighty whiteys on day one. I invite everyone over to comment and make fun of me. Or encourage. That would be nice too! (Although, seriously, taunting me would help!)

17. 2008 was a very very bad year for me. I spent about 7 or 8 weeks living in my car. I was suicidal some days. I ended up doing what I vowed I never would do, and I got a tattoo. I have the Kanji symbol for father on my forearm. People who see it and comment on it point out that I could have just got my childrens names tattooed, but the thing is (and I dont actually mention this) the tattoo is meant to remind me what I had to live for. It wasnt for the kids, it was for me.

19. I intend on 2009 to be the anti-thesis of 2008. Where everything crashed and burned for me in 2008, I expect 2009 to be a year of getting my shit together and growing up.

In short, I am 24 years old (in about one hour). I was in good physical shape until a motor accident stuffed up my back in 2004. I used the pain as an excuse to become lazy, and have gained massive amounts of wieght. These days, I can't even carry my kids without pain. I get out of breath climbing the stairs. I have incredibly low self esteem (although im quite good at pretending this isnt so).

I want to do something with my life where I can make other peoples lives better. As a police officer, I could stand for all the values that are important to me. However, as a fat man with a bad back, I cannot achieve this goal. After my accident, I was involved in an insurance claim. The insurance doctors tried claiming that I had a bad back because I was fat. Which, was all well and good, but when I would provide with pictures of me BEFORE the accident in very tight motorcycle leathers, they realised that im fat because of the accident.

But the point remains. If I lose wieght, the pain in my back that I live with almost constantly will subside. I will feel better, and look better. This will help my self esteem, and with a little luck, improve my depressive episodes. I can be a better father (which is ultimetly, the most important aspect) and husband. I can start my new career happy and healthy, mind body and soul.

And it all starts with this first step. I need to get motivated to do something. Intense diets have failed, and in failing, have brought me to food binges. Pushing hard on exercise has left me in pain and bruised. So now, I am going to try public humiliation.

I will post all the exercise I have done, every scrap of food I have eaten in daily updates. I need the help of you and everyone else who reads this to be accountable for me. If I know I have a bunch of people hoping for me to succeed, I will be more inclined to just be sensible. If I know I have enough people who love/care for me enough to spend 5 minutes a day to take this journey with me, I will be confident enough where I wont need to wallow in self pity (and Hungry Jacks Dbl cheese.)

Come back on the first of March for the beginning of the trip. Expect to see photos you which you didn't.

And thank you, for your support (even ridicule would be helpful, if not appreciated). :D

WWK